Stalking

Are you being Stalked?

Stalking is a series of actions that make you feel afraid or in danger. Stalking is serious, often violent, and can escalate over time.
STALKING IS A CRIME.

A stalker can be someone you know well or not at all. Most have dated or been involved with the people they stalk. About 75 percent of stalking cases are men stalking women, but men do stalk men, women do stalk women, and women do stalk men.

Some things stalker do:

• Follow you and show up wherever you are

• Repeatedly call you, including hang-ups

• Damage your home, car, or other property

• Send unwanted gifts, letters, cards, or e-mails

• Monitor your phone calls or computer use

• Use technology, like hidden cameras or global positioning systems, to track where you go

• Drive by or hang out at your home, school, or work

• Threaten to hurt you, your family, friends, or pets

• Find out about you using public records or on-line search services, hiring investigators, going through your gargabe, or contacting friends, family, neighbors, or co-workers

• Other actions that control, track, or frighten you

If you are stalked you might:

Feel FEAR of what the stalker will do

Feel VULNERABLE, unsafe, and not know who to trust

Feel NERVOUS, irritable, impatient, or on edge

Feel DEPRESSED, hopeless, overwhelmed, tearful, or angry

Feel STRESSED, including having trouble concentrating, sleeping, or remembering things

Have EATING PROBLEMS, such as appetite loss, forgetting to eat, or overeating

Have FLASHBACKS, disturbing thoughts, feelings, or memories

Feel CONFUSED, FRUSTRATED, or ISOLATED because other people don’t understand why you are afraid.

Things you can do if being stalked:

Stalking is unpredictable and dangerous. No two stalking situations are alike. There are no guarantees that what works for one person will work for another, yet you can take steps to increas your safety.

If you are in IMMEDIATE DANGER, call 911.

Trust your INSTINCTS. Don’t downplay the danger. If you feel you are unsafe, you probably are.

Take THREATS seriously. Danger generally is higher when the stalker talks about suicide or murder, or when a victime tires to leave or end the relationship.

Contact a crisis hotline, VICTIM SERVICE AGENCY, or a domestic violence or rape crisis program. They can help you devise a safety plan, give you information about local laws, refer you to other services, and weigh options such as seeking a protection order.

Develop a SAFETY PLAN, including things like changing your routine, arranging a place to stay, and having a friend or relative go places with you. Also, decide in advance what to do if the stalker shows up at your home, work, school, or somewhere else. Tell people how they can help you.

DON’T COMMUNICATE with the stalker or respond to attempts to contact you.

Keep EVIDENCE of the stalking. When the stalker follows you or contacts you, write down the time, date, and place. Keep e-mails, phone messages, letters, or notes. Photgraph anything of yours the stalker damages and any inuries the stlaker causes. Ask witnesses to write down what they saw.

Contact the POLICE. Every state has stalking laws. The stalker may also have broken other laws by doing things like assaulting you or stealing or destroying your property.

Consider getting a COURT ORDER that tells the stalker to stay away from you.

Tell FAMILY, FRIENDS, ROOMATES, and CO-WORKERS about the stalking and seek their support. Tell security staff at your job or school. Ask them to help watch out for your safety.

If someone you know is being stalked, you can help.

Listen, show support. Don’t blame the victim for the crime. Remember that every situation is different, and allow the person being stalked to make choices about how to handle it. Find someone you can talk to about the situation. Take steps to ensure your own safety. For more ideas on how you can help, call 1-800-FYI-CALL.

The National Center for Victims of Crime can help you make a safety plan, learn more about your legal rights, and find help in your area.
Call 1-800-FYI-CALL or TTY 1-800-211-7996

Monday-Friday 8:30 a.m. – 8:30 p.m. EST

Email: gethelp@ncvc.org

Website: www.ncvc.org

IF YOU ARE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER CALL 911

You may also contact DOVES

1-883-3350 or 1-800-831-9987